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How to Assassinate Your Friends
There is a small box in my flat which can turn a nerd into a ninja. The box contains a video game called Assassin's Creed.
A few months ago all I did was play and talk about Assassin's Creed and its sequels. The games involve a lot of sneaking around, hiding in crowds, and getting close enough to a target for an undetected kill.
Playing the game led to real-world changes in behaviour. After playing the first game, I stopped carrying coins in my pocket to minimise the noise I made walking. By the time I'd finished the second game every building in Zurich became architecturally fascinating - anything can be climbed.
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| With my skills, any building can be climbed |
After completing Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood,I realised I had become a stealth master. A ninja.
I arranged to meet Cecile. She was waiting outside the hotel near my flat. I used the pillars in front of the building to get closer to her, and when she was distracted by the noise of a passing child, I joined a pocket of people heading her way, snuck up behind her and freaked her out.
Sneaking up behind my best friends and scaring them became my new hobby. I tried to photograph the results for your amusement.
Like this:
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| Anna preparing lesson |
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| Shocked Anna |
Instead of moving on to a different project, like a socially normal person, I decided to invest in one of these:
A head-mounted HD camera!
I put it on and waited for an opportunity to film an 'Anna-sination.'
Sadly the results were poor and I had wasted 35 francs. But then I got an iPhone and could launch sneak attacks anywhere, anytime.
Here are some videos displaying my ninja skills.
Video 1
Synopsis: Anna is trying to talk to her boss in German. I scare her. She instantly switches to English to swear, and then calls me 'Stupid English'.
Video 2
Synopsis: Cecile thinks she is safe because she is at work. She isn't. "Where were you hiding?!" Upside down on the ceiling, like Batman. True story.
Video 3
Synopsis: My brother has come to Zurich and we're meeting Anna for lunch. I see them heading to the restaurant, and my Assassin's Creed training kicks in.
Assassin's Creed 3 has just been released. Let the ninja training recommence!
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